Classic Jokes

1.

Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher : Why?
Student : There is no future in it.

2.
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything.

3.
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

4.
A teacher was asking her class : 'What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?' Only one hand shot up. 'Ok, answer, Joan' said the teacher. ''unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle.'

5.
A boy came home from school with his exam results. 'What did u get?' asked his father. 'My marks are under water,' said the boy. 'What do u mean 'under water'?' 'They are all below 'C' (sea) level'



[I can definitely use the last one. (=]